It’s funny when nights come back to you pieces the way that dreams do. I put the pieces together, remembering that last night after a god damn year I finally told Jordan I was the idiot I said I would never be and more importantly that I remembered every warning he gave me that I completely disregarded (with good intentions from another perspective).

And it was the first time I couldn’t hold eye contact, but it was a handful of drunken conversations later that finally built up to (almost) everything I’ve wanted to say for a year.

I’m driving to (and from) Detroit today but I’m convinced I’ll end up in Oz because severe weather and highways give me anxiety.

Oh well. Ships gotta sail.

I’m excited to sneak to your house and give you a cactus in a gift box and to associate my favorite albums with better memories of feet tangled, hair snarled, half buried in covers to cover my blushing cheeks.

He’s the only boy I’ve kissed since December.

Got high to fall asleep, but instead ended up thinking about biting your lip with my feet hanging out from under the sheet.

Today I felt better than I have all week and my thoughts were clear despite the haze and hangovers and hate I spat your way.

Don’t say my name with an ellipsis.

I miss how easy it was to get drunk in the woods and fall in love with everything a year ago. Maybe I’m still romanticizing the past and everything and everyone I don’t have anymore, but Saturdays have been growing lonely.

Subtweet thought process pt. 2:

Go ahead. I’ll keep my words to myself because you’ll feel more than words later. Get tangled up in it. Write it into margins of notebooks and novels and you’ll understand later.

i spent twenty minutes thinking of a poetic way to say that i miss you.

but i’m finally going to get out of bed and make coffee and sit on my deck and drink it and then i’ll make some toast with bananas or cereal with berries and all the while you will be on my mind. goodmorning.